Anonymous said: Dolan, me and my girlfriend have discovered a new kink. It's called Dolan-play. Basically, we have really hot sex and that might last for hours, get all hot and steamy, and then, just as she's coming, I yell "ACUALLY AM DOLAN!" and watch as she cries.
if she dosnet say “pls gooby pls” in btween her sobs, it is time to braek up or become asexual
Anonymous said: DOLAN MY NIGGA HOW COME YOU SO MOTHER FUCKIN' SEXY?
neega u got 2 b kawaii
Anonymous said: Dolan, I just queefed and I started to bleed, at first I thought nothing of it, but then I realized there were noises coming from inside. I stuck a clothes hanger up there and pulled out a fetus. I didn't know I was pregnant, I'm a virgin Dolan, what happened? D:
taht was baybe jeesus
u killed him
if u eat the feetus u wil bcome immortul
Anonymous said: NONONONO DON'T YOU DARE RUIN TINTIN FOR ME YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD. TINTIN IS OFF LIMITS!
Anonymous said: how olds r you in rll lyfe?????????????}];;q? rigards
Anonymous said: Dolan my girlfriend wants to kill herself. What do I do?
luk fr counseling nd dont ask a faking blog
Anonymous said: Uncle Dolan the welcome mat is out in front of my butt hole
i alwuys nock
im not ur neice
im ur uncle
said: Dolan, I hate almost everyone at my school. What should I do?
ur skool is not real
Anonymous said: Dolan who am I?
so big i put it threw my sleeve and peepul thinkit is my arm
i hav only 1 arm
Anonymous said: dolan can you help me pls. I have a boyfriend but I don't think that I feel the same way about him but I can't break up with him at least for a long time (bcause things are complicated) and I feel like a liar and a terrible person what do I do???
braek up with him
he wil be sphincterhurt and go onn teh internet and say “i hate gettign freindzoned bai the bitches” and “al women r whoores”
that is y boys suk
but you dont helphim by stayign
Anonymous said: Dolan, pls halp. I dont know if I'm a human or robot. Sometimes I really think I'm a robot and my brain is just a microchip, but I don't know how to prove it. None of my friends believe me. What should I do?
ur a robot
yur friends know but theyare tryign too hide it frum you
you m ust kill them
Anonymous said: Dolan, I spend a lot of time crying over an actor and don't give real life guys a chance - because they seem so boring and not good-looking. I know, looks don't really matter and it's highly impossible I'll ever even meet that actor, but I just can't help it. How can I get over that charming handsome bastard?
ur poisoned with waht rich peepul from las anjelus sell 2 u